6 Baldral 900
It’s good to be back, if even for a moment. The journey to and from Obstkern was simple enough; the events landside have left me drained of energy and mind. Repairs have continued apace in my absence, and Ze’s been a continual terrror, so as I understand it. These Knights need to loosen up a bit. Can’t wait to rebuild the tavern, have someplace away from the Keep to relax. I understand Sam led a sortie into the catacombs and nearly died. He was showing me some metalline flower-device, speaking hastily about its purpose and power, the knowledge hedden within, the usual mania. He’s stowed it for until we get back from the Continent.
“Do you think you are the first King of Stars?”
He said it hinged on me, making the right choices, doing what needs to be done. Well, how the bleeding hell is that supposed to help me?! Bastard wouldn’t budge, only kept saying that I knew what I had to do, or how to find someone who does. Inaction is action, life and death in my every choice. That good men and women have already died because I chose wrong. But he didn’t tell me what any of that is supposed to mean. No WHY.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s an empty title. People with no connection to me dying, and it’s my fault? How can I feel guilty about that?
It has to be. I can’t.
I’m going to
shoot/ throttle/ have a chat with Serren. He may be the only lead to answers available right now. Shifting bastard spying on me the whole time, who the hell does he think he is? How many died because he didn’t tell me what he knew?!
Tyrale’s getting to skinny. I need to do something about food in this place.
I brought one of them back to Fort Rochelle. Found him dying in a shattered Levium field. Just a boy in a grey-blue coat. He wanted someone named Mongoose to know how hard he had tried. That he’d given it everything. A zealot. A believer.
If I had chosen better, would he have lived long enough to be ready for his battle?